I can't think of a title for this one

And weirdly, I almost can't think of anything at all.



After all these years, nothing's really changed in you. But myself, I did change -- a lot. I don't anymore complain when you seem to forget everything about me. I don't fight with you over the simplest petty things, even the grand ones. I'm not sure whether I've become more understanding over the years we're together, or have I just become indifferent? I'm scared it's the latter. I'm so sorry.

Postrejects for the photo.

A Story thru Their Words

These past few weeks, I’ve been really down suffocating myself with tears. Last night I had a breakdown, and there are people who will be there for you regardless of who they are; a long time friend, a past teacher, a stranger, person you met just once, someone you met on the net, and your bestfriends. Their words will tell you my story...

The Alma Mater: With all honesty, I don’t know how to respond. This has been your concern since college and I thought you have recovered. I don’t mean to be biased, the mere fact that your father was hurt, only means that whatever you told him had a significant impact on him.

Take time to recover, then talk. I suggest you initiate. Humble yourself. Walang sumbatan for 22 years. You just told na ginapang mo ang pagkatao mo, aren’t you proud of that?

You did it on your own before, why can’t you do it this time? You’re a talented person, that’s why I have always believed in you. Whatever your situation at this time will be a trauma until you learn to forgive, accept and let go.

You’ve made it this far. Now you’re telling me you’ll quit? As I’ve told you before never let your temper control you. The mere you’re hurting yourself and your family.

Kasi yan ang lagi mong pinaniniwalaan na mag-isa ka. Hindi ito competition na may kampihan. Learn to live on your own. You depend on your dad kasi ang condition mo dapat lang kasi pinabayaan kayo, tapos kung hindi makabigay nanunumbat ka. Learn not to depend.

The Believer: “He heals the brokenhearted & binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3” Kaya mo bang ibaba pride mo para mag-reach out sa kanya? After all, dad mo siya. In humility, try lang talking to him. But if it’s not yet time keep still lang. If you have mustered enough strength, try mo lang. Who knows the tide might change? Baka dahil din sa miscommunication kaya kayo nagkaganyan. It’s okay to cry and alam ko mahirap na may misunderstanding kayo ng dad mo.

Calm down ka muna, baka kasi may masabi tayong nakakasakit na pagsisisihn natin sa huli pag may galit tayo sa puso. Cool down ka muna, sleep ka na. Then tomorrow, think things over and maybe ready ka na.

The Happy Guy: Masakit din kasi sa tatay ‘yong malaman niya na kulang ang ginagawa niya for you. Naranasan ko rin yan k ay dad, eksaktong yan. At least you were able to voice out, alam niya how you feel about the situation. Let things cool down a bit, then talk to him again. Me and dad we didn’t talk. My lola died and after nun, snap. Okay na kami. The loss compensated for the long discussions to forgiveness. Birthpains, it will teach you a lot. Trust me. Believe that there’s a greater plan somewhere there.

Family is one thing, your life is another. Unless you prove to them what a loss you are. Kailangan mo muna matanggap na they found their happiness in other places or people and so should you. Hindi naman sa kalimutan mo sila, but try to make the most out of the independence you have, which other’s don’t

The Supporter: I may never fully understand the situation you are in with regard to your relationship with your father pero through the years, I've come to realize that saying what you really feel towards a person esp. on a very personal level can do you a huge favor. For me, that is through a letter. Sabihin mo LAHAT ng gusto mo sabihin.

If your dad refuse to understand where your angst is coming from then I think it's time for you to tell everything to him. 'wag ka lang masyadong galit, ha? Try being calm about it. You' can't resolve things na mainit ang ulo mo. Isipin mo na lang that you're doing yourself a big favor. 'Wag na para sa iba, para sa'yo na lang at para sa ikatatahimik ng kalooban mo. From there, bahala na tatay mo.

The Hopeful: People won't get hurt or be affected if the person in question doesn't matter to them that much. Hurt usually comes from loving someone.

A Friend: Hey! dunno how to cheer you up really but yeah, think this way.. everything is gonna be alright! You'll definitely be okay because you’re strong! You'll get thru it. Whatever you're gong thru with people you disagree with will soon realized you're better than what it seems.

The Stranger: Sometimes we feel that way. In order for us to let go of it is to embrace it first. It's part of growing as an individual.

The Sweet Girl: First of hindi ka abala sa akin dear. Wish I’m there at your side ngayon. Hug tight, I love you so much.

The Dreamer: If you believe you've done wrong and went overboard, say Sorry... Mahal ka namin, poreber and eber...

Without these words, I might not have enough strength to continue my life now. A simple *hug* or the sweetest “I love you” are my comfort words, but I never expected that there are people who gives more meaning to what is given. There are reasons why we feel emotional but there are far more than that of what is light and blissful that we need to appreciate for it is not just strength, it is LIFE.

God, thank you for giving me the ‘persons’ of my life. THANK YOU ALL.

Dry Run

Words were cluttered and emotions were blurred for it was a tense with excitement; it was the perfect feeling to finally meet you. I waved my hand and smiled at you, and then you walked with me to share our outlying emotions that we’ve been holding back. Gazing was my verb, for my eyes won’t stop creating a story while you talk and never have I imagined that monochrome sight would dust into pixel of colours. It was not just a precious time at that moment but intended for a lifetime lock that only two of us would be able to unchain. Every detail was clear that gave a deep meaning to the grounds of my love.

I care so much about your struggles of pulling your arrow to its right path. I simply love the way you smile with the nice birth mark on your lips which is enticing to kiss and even pouting your lips is remarkably distinguish. I get stun every time you do the cross-eyed trick that you won’t allow me to record but its fine for we share a memorable laugh. I enjoy seeing your cute tantrums when I don’t allow you to mess up my hair. I like the way you squeeze me with your arms locking our fingers together. They are not continuity of my ‘because’ for reasons are fed by the mind and so, I love you by its meaning.

All the while I thought it was the start of our own label when you said ‘I love you’, but when you uttered ‘parang tayo pero hindi’ gave me a stop to think. I wasn’t sure if I had to have a second thought or will just ask you. And so I asked what’s these all about because the day I chose to live the moment with you was a decision to drop all my fears, but your words were telling me to pickup those what I just waste on my sides. I nearly gave up my feelings for I only wished was your time that made me like a stranger asking for alms.

My love is the truth and I hope that all of this wouldn’t be just a lie trapped in a longing relationship for that isn’t a true love. I love not ‘because’ rather I love you followed by its meaning. It isn’t just a snap of thoughts; it is a strike of a sudden rush from a root that builds up an endless feeling. Now, I get this paranoia of the clock ticking that keeps me from thinking that you’re fading anytime soon.

Please read & listen for each letter I type now will be ended in a while. “You are a genuine gift with a heartbeat and a fragile shadow. I may not be a priority to you right now, but I hope you soon unwrap your box for the moment you will be open is the valuable time that true love will enfold you naturally. I am not a temporary, I hand my love for a lifetime. I love you.”

3...2...1...CUT!

Twelve Thirty-Six

(5/1/2010 12:36:18 PM): i just wanna live the moment with you.

The emptiness is fading and the beat is arising. Just stop the moment from there, for I have a minute to feel the rush. Just ssshhh.

*Silence*

Uncertainty and distance that makes us feel for this need, the embrace of the moment to seize the future. But I keep asking myself, is this the beginning of my fairy tale or a real life story? For the sudden beat is caught in steels that chooses to live with limits or to step out in the open.

Downs after the moment but worries are stolen for when the right time comes you have to make a choice. Fail the fears, revive the joy and the decision will all be fulfilling.

It’s You WITH Me. I want to hold you tight in my arms and say, “Thank You for this. You maybe a piece now, but I want you to be the half of my whole.”

(5/1/2010 12:37:30 PM) I just want to be your present and future, but will never be your past.