Think, Feel and Pray

Last week I was rushed to USTH ER for I was experiencing severe abdominal pain with nausea. It came to my senses that I cannot bear the pain so I had to admit myself, but I have to go on a coaster hospital procedure. I came in with no companion, suddenly all eyes were on me for they would only admit me if I have a companion.

Queries started to muddle my mind, voices were scattered and letters were disoriented to form a word. I cannot answer directly to the med intern who was writing down my personal data. A sudden feeling of self-pity with my burbled thoughts of being alone holding a small source of strength almost failed me. The med intern was patiently monitoring me and did everything to help me until a friend of mine arrived to deliver my tests. It was almost morning when I was feeling better, so the results came in which the procedures made were all normal then an ultra-sound of LGPS (Liver-Gallbladder-Pancreas-Spleen) was requested to confirm if I have Cholelithiasis.


On my ultra sound:
Gallbladder Polyp and/or Cholesterolosis. Liver, Pancreas, and Spleen – NEGATIVE.

Then my Doctor told me that there’s nothing to worry but it’s recommended that I have to change my diet meaning, less on salty and oily foods. And so I guess, it is a relief that I have no stones and not to undergo surgical procedures of any sort.

A hasty realization managed to instil me thoughts of small ways that can deliver big results. Awareness; often neglected, for some it’s not even existing on their own terms but for me, it’s more than just a noun that invites you to knowledge and great lessons. So let me share you an excerpt of my Thank You note (The day I learned to pray):

Independence; the term for freedom. Alone; the struggle for strength. Living on your own with no family, just plainly guided by the certainty of your ruled existence can be difficult at some point especially when you’re sick. It’s like you’re trap to a thin moist ready to be stained. Some will be a touch, but most are just breeze, and unexpectedly there are some who let you believe the truth in the silence of their emotions.

I’ve lost my own light, cannot even build my own ray, for I always forget the great source where strength is always a hope, Him. I started to look at my hands, feeding the thoughts to my palms to close and feel each other. Warm, sweaty and trembling sensing like it was my first time. Thoughts were hanging, words won’t come out, and sight was static. But then I realized I don’t want any script, so I made it simple and said, “Lord, please help me.”

‘This is the day’ I learned to pray.

Now, I have new lessons to share. First, no matter what our problem is even how painful we suffer never fail to turn to God for He is the great source of eternal strength. Second, never neglect the saying ‘lahat ng sobra nakakasama’ for we never know when life gets tricky. And lastly, always feel that you are loved and cared by anyone for life is a shared blessing and we are not doomed to live alone on an island.

As they say, Health is Wealth, and so I add, Health needs Help.